Conquer-it-all Ideal

A tall, slender, beautiful and fashionable woman walks across the tree-lined park.  She's dressed in a bright, form flattering dress and nude pumps; her sun-kissed tresses bounce gently on her shoulders as she walks.  She sports a Bugaboo stroller inside of which an adorable round-faced toddler squeals and coos in delight.  She's supposed to sell me some brand of toddler-targeted pureed foods product.  I guess this marketing campaign's idea is that I will believe that if I buy this product I will magically become this 115 pound, magazine ready mom.  

But I know better.  I know that it won't matter if I buy the newest Swiffer cleaning product (even though I do, but more to facilitate picking up Meli hairs on a regular basis), or the latest line of makeup products that is supposed to miraculously erase the imposing dark circles under my eyes, or the baby skin-care products that if I don't buy automatically makes me a neglectful mother.  I know that just because I buy the bathroom cleaner with the little animated scrubbers on the bottle, it doesn't mean they're going to pop off of the bottle and scrub my showers and tubs for me; no matter how much begging and pleading I do.  I know that if I buy the hottest line of running shoes the Nike, Reebok, and Sketchers have to offer; those last 12 pounds are not going to just melt off the minute I put them on.  What's more, I know that just because I buy the Huggies diapers that the baby on my TV seems to be so happy wearing doesn't mean that they'll make my baby happy.  In fact, I know they won't because on more than one occasion the Huggies diapers that we used on Alexcia leaked; oh and their wipes caused her rash to return.  I would recommend that Huggies stop making baby products altogether, but that's just my humble opinion.  So I find myself constantly targeted by these ads, like I somehow need these products to feel like a competent and happy mother and wife.

But the products have nothing to do with that feeling, it's a process.  Motherhood takes some adjusting, some rearranging and juggling- and sometimes, like as of late, no matter how much reorganizing and juggling I do, things still fall through the cracks.  Motherhood is a hands-on education type of experience, and the learning curve is subjective; no amount of Johnson & Johnson products is going to affect that.  But I would be lying if I didn't say that every now and then I catch myself waiting to become the chic, attractive, organized, and pulled-together supermom examples that I see around me.  That I'm still holding on to that ideal I have built in my head; of conquering the demands of keeping my home tidy and clean for Alexcia, of making my baby happy and keeping her safe, of stimulating her and challenging her and nurturing her growth,  of making room for my career, and of finding myself an attractive woman again...

I know I can do it, I know it'll take some restructuring of that ideal but I know I will eventually get there- I just have to find my learning curve, we just have to find our rhythm.  And everyday, one day at a time, we get closer to finding that groove ;)