So it's been a little while since I last had the clarity of mind and energy to write here. Alright, fine; it's been almost a year (yikes!!!) However, I know all of you mom's out there remember what the first year is like and how figuring out your groove in motherhood takes almost all your focus, maybe some of you are experiencing that now; and if you don't have children yet- do me a favor, bookmark this entry ;)
In any case, my precious munchkin is officially a toddler now; 14 months old. I honestly can't describe how fast time has flown. I feel like I blinked and she went from a tiny 4lbs 4oz newborn to a full fledged energetic, sassy, constantly hungry, curious, and smart toddler. Though the sassy manifested itself within seconds out of the womb!
As we embark on the toddler stage, I find myself in awe of all of the different array of emotions I can experience in one day; much like my budding toddler:
When I go into her room in the morning, no matter how tired I am; I feel uplifted and overjoyed when I see her squeal and jump in her crib in excitement of seeing me. She babbles away while I change her diaper and I'm in awe of all of the thoughts and observations she's having at that very moment (though I don't yet understand them). What feels like 5 minutes later (not really more like a couple hours after breakfast), I encounter the first tantrum of the day: it's usually because either she wants to climb the stairs to the kitchen and I said "no" or she wants to pull on Meli's tail and I said "no" or she wants to chew on my computer cord and I said "no." She hears the word "no" and immediately starts pouting and crying. Sometimes its a whimper, something else catches her attention, and she quickly forgets about it. But lately it's started to become more of a full fledged tantrum. It takes every ounce of strength in me to keep my cool. I try to recollect all my TLG training; tantrums occur in all toddlers, it's a healthy part of the toddler stage, it is a result of their new world and their limited vocabulary and emotional maturity to respond to that world and its limits, etc. I take a deep breath and communicate to her about the rules and why mommy says, "no." -
"You can't go into the kitchen because I'm not there right now and it's not safe. We have to be safe to play." or "Chewing on that wire is dangerous. It will also upset Daddy because he will have to buy another one." or even "It hurts Meli when you pull on her tail, she can feel that- She's eventually going to bite you and she will only be defending herself because you're hurting her." I know she doesn't quite understand everything I say, but I know she understands "no" because she looks over when she's about to do something she knows I will disapprove of. I also know that after she's had a timeout as a consequence of her tantrum and I explain what about her choice of actions lead to that consequence, my tone of voice is what she mostly understands. I know that she's learning what behavior is acceptable and what is not; and above all- just because I enforced a consequence doesn't mean I stopped loving her- On the contrary, I enforce boundaries, a framework, and consequences (whether rewarding or reflection-oriented) because I love her.
You probably noticed that I don't use the words "discipline," "punishment," "positive," or "negative." Don't worry I'm not one of those who's 'parenting' style is to allow their kids to wreak havoc wherever they go, eat whatever they want, and pretty much do as they please. If you know me at all, you know that A. its not me and B. I used to teach such children and had little respect for their parents
However, I do feel the above-stated words have a negative connotation that I don't think is conducive to raising a child that will know when and how to carry themselves in different contexts. I feel its important children understand the reason their choice of action has a given consequence. And I do believe that children are rational little beings with which parents can reason.
And I see this with my little one every day. It's amazing how much of a mini-me she actually is! I very much feel like I have a little buddy to keep me company, challenge me, improve me, and inspire me everyday. I can see her learning, growing, experiencing life, and finding her way and I love it.
Now that we've made the toddlerhood mark, I think it's time Mom get back on track with herself too :) So here's my goals-
Find time for me- to get healthy workouts in again. (still have some weight I'm obsessing over :P)
Wear "real clothes" (makeup, hair & accessories included) at least twice a week, increase frequency over time.
Forget about the house and chores once in a while and do something fun and learning geared together :)
That's it! I feel good about what we've accomplished so far; my munchkin is happy, loved, healthy, smart, and a joy, I'm finding my groove in keeping the house somewhat acceptable (I'm no Martha Stewart but my family is fed, has clean clothes, and the house is tidy 90% of the time), I am running my own dance company (my life long dream), I have other professional projects I'm working on, my hubby is happy, we have weekend family time- Things are good. We survived the first year! And know with our 14 month old we have many more milestones to look forward to; walking (still hasn't done it alone), talking (still only select words), first trip to Disneyland (I'm trying to convince Dad to take us around Christmas hehe), preschool (aaaah!), etc.
Here's to entering another exciting facet of parenthood and feel free to comment with any advice you might have!
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